Did I screw her up already?

A few months ago, back when BG was doing this, we went over to a friends house who had just had a baby. We were oohing and aching over their little one (BBP we'll call him - Baby Boy P), and also showing off BG's new tricks - because, yes, they're tricks, much like a dog learns new tricks. :)

Speak of dogs, BBP has a little dog -- though I guess you should say BBP's parents have a little dog. Not one of those tiny tiny dogs, but definitely on the large side of small, or the small side of medium. At that point in BG's life, the dog was probably just a bit larger than she was.

Now the little dog was out on a walk when we arrived, and so we placed BG on the floor, and she was up on all fours rocking back and forth like she was known to do... She looked like she was going to crawl at any moment, and we sort of just left her on the floor to figure it all out while we were holding and cooing over BBP.

Then the dog came back from her walk, and noticed a tiny creature about her size on the floor, and zeroed in on her to check her out. You know, typical dog behavior - "I need to sniff the new little one and make sure she's not a threat."

Now this dog is one of the most well mannered dogs I've ever met. It's an older dog, and does extremely well with children. But.. imagine you're a little baby, and this...thing... that's bigger than you are sprints up to you and sticks their nose into you and all you see are sharp shiny white teeth. I can imagine I'd be scared sh*tless.

Needless to say, BG was terrified. She flattened herself onto the floor, and screamed and began to wail. The dog quickly backed away terrified at the noise this little baby was making and I scooped in and picked up BG and began to comfort her.

The rest of the night, we kept trying to get BG to get comfortable around the dog. Jeff would hold the dog in his lap, and I'd hold BG in mine, and I'd pet the dog -- trying to show BG that it was okay the dog wouldn't bite. But she was very hesitant. She'd hold out her hand, trembling, and then draw her hand away quickly in fear. The whole night, she'd keep her eyes on the dog as the dog walked around the apartment, always noting the dogs location and it's proximity to her. Every time the dog would come close to her she'd cling to me (or Jeff depending on who was holding her) and she'd have this look of terror in her eyes. It was funny though, she looked like she genuinely wanted to pet the dog but she'd be so scared she just wouldn't be able to go through with it.

A few months later, we go to another friends house who also just recently had a baby. This family has 2 cats. Now cats are a bit different from dogs, they're quite happy to be left alone and generally don't need to be in the presence of humans petting them or showing them affection. So these two cats mostly stayed away. But when they were in the same room, BG would look at them, and because they never approached her, I think she felt a bit braver. She would begin to crawl towards them, but that would freak the cats out and the cats would run away to the other room, and of course once a cat gets freaked out, it doesn't just meander away, it scurries away, and the sudden movements would make BG jump a bit.

Now, just yesterday, we went to another friends house. This family has 2 cats, 2 rabbits, and a couple of chickens. I took BG to take a look at the rabbits who were housed in a rabbit cage, and one sorta hopped over to the other side of the cage, and as soon as the rabbit hopped, BG also jumped a bit in my arms and clung tightly to me all while keeping her eyes on the rabbits.

I took BG back to the other room, and one of the cats was sitting on the couch. We placed BG on the floor amongst a bunch of toys, and after a while BG crawled up to the cat, and the cat just sat there ready for her. BG reached out her hands and then drew her hand away in fear. Then she'd try again, but then her fear would overtake her again and she'd withdraw her hand. You could see the personal struggle that she was going through.

"I can do this...." "No I can't! It's too scary!" "No I'm brave! I can do this!" "Oh hellnah, this animals's too scary" "No! I'm fearless!" "No I'm fearful!"

She did that for a couple of minutes before we decided to stop forcing the issue and let the cat walk away.

Now - my question is.. Did I screw her up already? Will she have a life long fear of animals because the one day I left her alone on the floor as a dog ran up to her? In hindsight I realized I should have held her in my lap when the dog came into the apartment so that she would feel safe with me when the dog approached her instead of feeling all alone on the floor when the dog was near. Who knows if that would have made a big difference, but I do know that the first animal BG met was my best friends dog Grover. She was a little over 4 months old and she was in my friends lap and reached out to pull his hair with no fear. Feeling safe in someone's arms when an animal approaches vs. being alone when an animal approaches are 2 hugely different experiences.

If in fact I did make a huge parenting FAIL, and I did screw her up and thus caused a lifelong fear of animals, at least I can rest easy knowing that now I never have to give in and get Jeff that dog he keeps talking about.